Frequently Asked Questions

What is the Red String Society/RedStringSociety.com?


The Red String Society is a group for people whose relationships did not end with their partners’ deaths. We created RedStringSociety.com due to gaps in acceptance in widow/widowers’ groups, afterlife groups, and related places, to research and strengthen available information about maintaining a connection with romantic partners on the other side.




What is its purpose?


Although groups for widows and widowers are common (as are afterlife discussion groups), the former tend to be dating-focused and the latter are not specific to maintaining an active romantic connection with a partner on the other side. We’ve found that many people don’t feel that their relationships ended with the deaths of their partners, and we created a resource for those people to discuss their ongoing experiences with others in the same types of relationship.




How do these relationships work?


It’s not just “signs” and mediumship readings. Each week, we hear how our members and their partners have uncovered novel ways to connect. Much like when your partner was physically here, you weren’t speaking or touching one another every second of the day. Communication methods are as diverse as the people engaging in them, but everyone is capable of connecting with their partner on the other side whenever they wish.




How much is this going to cost me?


Nothing. There is no charge for any aspect of our community -- our meetings, resources, books, talks, or other events. If you decide to participate in book club, it’s BYOB (bring your own book).




What tools and methods support these types of relationships?


Some of our members actively work to develop mediumship ability (an acquirable skill), some primarily meditate or learn similar methods of connecting, and some use physical tools like electronic voice phenomenon (EVP). These are only a few examples of popular methods -- anyone can connect to their partner on the other side. While there is occasionally a learning curve, group members are happy to help one another in forming their own connections (and often receive messages to pass on).




Will continued focus on my partner prolong or intensify my grief? Will I be sad forever?


Undoubtedly, the physical death of a partner is a tragic, painful, and disruptive event with consequences in every area of life. That said, after a period of adjustment, our members seem to return to a “new normal” -- aided perhaps by the preservation of their connection with their partners.




Is this a religious and/or spiritual group?


Some people would consider belief in the afterlife and afterlife communication “spiritual” or “religious” by definition, but many members approach this in an entirely secular way. Our focus is on methods and techniques that work for members and supporting their way forward regardless of their religious or spiritual beliefs. Our group does not adhere to any religious or spiritual practice or tenet and is non-religious in nature; religious people are welcome to join (but please do not proselytize).




What if I’m an atheist?


There are atheist members who are in contact with their deceased partners. There is a difference between atheism and materialism. Atheism suggests lack of belief in a higher, omnipresent and omniscient being. Materialism suggests lack of belief in consciousness continuing after physical death.




Is this sort of relationship appropriate for people of faith?


The nature of this relationship is, essentially, that we can still communicate and interact with our loved ones after they die, and that we will fully rejoin them after we die. Only you can decide if your beliefs are compatible with this perspective.




What if I have a new partner? Can I still join?


Yes. Our group is solely focused on facilitating the communication and interaction between you and your loved one who has died.




Is repartnering necessarily a more psychologically and socially appropriate option?


Although whether or not to repartner is a highly personal decision informed by any number of individual factors, widows and widowers are rarely represented in film, on television, or in books without a repartnering “redemption arc.” In actuality, just as there are a number of reasons people might wish to repartner, many of the same reasons also prompt a person to actively choose not to repartner. An ongoing relationship with a partner on the other side isn’t often affirmatively acknowledged as a reason, but we’ve found many people feel this way despite a lack of on-screen and on-page representation. We are socially conditioned to “move on” after the death of a romantic partner, so choosing this route can have negative social consequences since it is not widely accepted. Consequently, it can be psychologically challenging in many ways. Most of our members keep this relationship secret outside of the group to avoid these problems as much as possible.




Is it unhealthy if I want to continue my relationship? Isn’t that a form of denial?


Amongst our hundreds of members, we’ve never encountered a person who is “in denial” about their partner’s physical absence. Because few people currently engage in open discussion of their commitment to their partner on the other side, relationships of this type are not well-understood from the outside. We can find no inherently unhealthy aspect of continued relationships, and typically commentary regarding emotional well-being occurs alongside pressure from outside sources put on members to repartner.




I am a widow/widower and I would like to meet a new partner. Do you think I didn’t love my partner?


More than anyone, we can understand the searing pain that accompanies a partner’s death. We understand that perhaps the majority of those widowed wish to repartner, and we do not believe this means you love your partners any less than we love ours. Please do not infer that our relationships exist in judgment of yours, and we hope you can extend the same courtesy to us.




My partner died early in life, can I maintain a relationship in this situation?


Yes. We have members under 30 and over 70; the death of a soulmate can occur at any time in life. We have members with babies and small children (and grandchildren) , and members who did not have the opportunity to have children with their partners, and members who support one another adjusting to life without a partner physically present.




A medium told me my partner wants me to repartner, is that true? Do I have to?


Even the best mediums are fallible human beings like the rest of us, and can misinterpret or allow their personal beliefs to affect their readings. If your partner actually said that, the decision is still up to you. Something to keep in mind is that our partners are still who they are when they die. Their personalities and feelings for us remain intact. They do not suddenly become all-wise or all-knowing. Your partner can feel your pain and may be trying to help you, or he/she may be unaware that this kind of relationship can be successfully pursued. Some of our members have been told by one medium that their partner insists they must repartner, only to be told by another that their partner is thrilled with their continued relationship. This is an example of how the information that comes through in a reading is determined by a medium's personal frame of reference. As in any relationship, the way forward is to let your partner know what you want to do. We suggest clearly expressing your wishes out loud to your partner, as you would if they were physically present.




A person said we shouldn’t hold our partners back from their spiritual progression and their new lives or circumstances, is that true?


Those same people will tell you that we are eternal beings. If we are, and we have eternity to “spiritually progress,” there is no need to worry about such things. There is no need to hurry anything on their side. Also, our partners are as capable in the afterlife as they were here of being involved in their relationship with their partner and doing other things at the same time.




I read that people “move on” after three days/40 days/two years, is that true?


No.




Will communicating with my partner cause them to be “earthbound”? Does this sort of relationship keep them from “going into the light”?


There is no evidence to suggest these ideas are anything more than myths generated by fictional media.




Do you have meetings?


We have a general meeting once weekly on Saturdays, as well as a separate book club. Both occur in Zoom (a computer, tablet and phone video conference system). Zoom is free to download and use.




Can I join if my partner is terminally ill?


While many of our members have experienced the terminal illness of a partner, we do not have the resources to provide the specialized support needed for people currently experiencing this. Part of the reason we have created this website is to provide those who do not currently meet the criteria of joining our Facebook group with the tools, information, and methods that can help them in such situations.




Can I join if I feel an affinity with a person I have not met, who is on the other side?


Our private Facebook group is for people who have had a relationship with their partner here, in this life, before their partner died. One of the reasons we created this website was to provide what may be helpful information to those who don't meet the very specific criteria for joining the Facebook group.




Where can I find evidence, books, or more information?


You can find our growing resources page here. If you join our group, feel free to ask fellow members for recommendations or information. We’re very collaborative. There exists an enormous wealth of evidence, including scientific, for continuation of consciousness and afterlife communication. There are many scientific studies, credible accounts, and ongoing experiential access reported that is now widely available due to the proliferation of information on the internet.




How can I learn more?


The quickest way to connect to our group is to join us on Facebook. Please do not submit a join request if you do not have a partner on the other side, and please be sure to answer our membership questions. We also have a contact page you can use to ask questions not covered here.




Should I visit or speak with a medium?


This is a personal decision and up to you. This is a personal decision and up to you. Please be advised that mediums are interpreting messages, usually symbolically. If they do not know about these kinds of relationships, they may misinterpret what your partner is trying to tell them. Our members have had both very good and very bad experiences with mediums. Many mediums feel an obligation to tell people it’s okay or even ideal to “move on” one way or another because they think it is in the sitter’s best interest.




I am a journalist, writer, or researcher, may I interact with your group or attend your meetings?


Thank you for your interest in our group. We are available to answer questions and provide information, but request contact us directly to protect the privacy of our members.




What kind of experiences are members having?


Most members experience the immediate psychological relief that comes with having people they can talk to and who support them in their decision to continue their relationship. Our members have reported a wide range of experiences, from signs to full physical manifestations and completely real interactions with their partners. Many have experienced the reduction or complete eradication of their grief. Signs and synchronicities that appear to come from our partners range from what are considered fairly common (feathers and coins found in unlikely places and times) to astounding, inexplicable events and manifestations.




How many members are there currently?


As of 1/20/2020, we have 585 members from around the world, male and female, from the age of 18 on up, of various races, ethnicities, professions and religious/spiritual backgrounds, including atheists and former materialists.




If I join, will my privacy be protected?


Our Facebook group is private, meaning whatever is posted there will not show up on your Facebook feed and non-members cannot see them member list or posts. Our Zoom meetings are not recorded and you can attend them without listing your real name and without video or audio from you. We have a policy in place of not sharing any information that could identify members of the group without their permission. However, no system is perfect and we cannot absolutely guarantee privacy or anonymity.




Where is my dead partner? What is the afterlife?


Click here for more information on the afterlife. You can also visit our resource page that has a growing list of links to books, videos, documentaries, websites, etc.




Can they hear us and see us?


Yes. They can also “hear” thoughts and see mental images you direct to them.




Why can’t I hear their thoughts or see imagery they send to me?


Most likely you already have (and regularly do), you just don’t realize it is your partner giving you those thoughts and imagery.




Can I join if my parent/child/sibling/best friend died?


Our group is for people who have had a romantic relationship with their partner here, in this life, before their partner died. For parents, we recommend HelpingParentsHeal.org.




Why can’t I hear their thoughts or see imagery they send to me?


Most likely you already are, you just don’t realize it is your partner giving you those thoughts and images.




I’m on prescription medication for anxiety/depression. Do drugs interfere in my ability to communicate with my partner?


We have not seen any correlation between drug use and a decreased capacity to communicate and interact with our people on the other side.




Is it true that I need to “raise my vibration” in order to “get closer” to my partner’s “spiritual level?”


As a whole, our members have had the full range of partner interaction and communication regardless of their emotional or self-described “vibrational” state.




I still feel committed to my partner, how can I participate?


We have an active, private Facebook group with ongoing discussion and weekly teleconference meeting through the Zoom interface.




I keep reading about reincarnation, will my partner or has my partner reincarnated? Will they reincarnate before we're reunited?


Most credible accounts from mainstream sources indicate that reincarnation is optional and gaps between incarnations are far longer than an average human lifespan. Moreover, the same sources indicate that reincarnation before family members and close friends "reunite" is highly unusual.




I'm LGBT or polyamorous, can I join?


Of course! We have LGBT and polyamorous members in our group.




I keep reading about reincarnation, will my partner or has my partner reincarnated? Will they reincarnate before we're reunited?


Multiple lines of credible information indicate this is a baseless concern. First, death accounts from mediums and people at the end or their life universally state that loved ones that have died are always there to help transition the dying. Second, loved ones, friends, family and guides always consult with each other and make plans together before committing - together - to incarnate in this world. Almost universally, it’s a group that comes into this world and then greet each other as each transitions back into the afterlife so they can assess - together - the value of their experiences. Then, after everyone is back and consulted, they decide whether or not to go into this world again as a group .