• William Murray

An Exquisite Internal Connection



Since Irene died in April of 2017, I've been working pretty much constantly on connecting to her internally. Visualizing her, imagining her, talking to her in my head is an ongoing, virtually all-day habit, with focused visualization meditations 1-3 times a day, from 15 minutes to an hour each, along with constant affirmations and a positive self-dialogue that includes her in everything I do.


I think that this habit is what is responsible for my quick recovery from grief. As our internal connection strengthened, it provided me with the same sense of calm confidence in my life as her physical presence did when she was physically located here.


From time to time during that period, I would get a rush, a deeper sense of her presence. It was completely overwhelming, like nothing I've ever experienced before. The sensation is physical, emotional and physical at the same time, causing my heart to race and creating a kind of wonderful orgasm in my head. When it happened, it was almost too much to bear.

It's like some sort of signature frequency or energy, Irene's signature, her essence. It's a palpable presence.

The past several weeks, though, as I've become more accustomed to it, and have continued my internal practices, this sensation of Irene has increased in frequency, to some degree staying constant, magnifying when she reaches into me or whenever I reach inward to her.


It's like some sort of signature frequency or energy, Irene's signature, her essence. It's a palpable presence.


I don't know how to describe it exactly. Whenever I think of doing a visualization meditation with her, the sensation of her presence within me vibrates, pulses with her excitement, overwhelming me. Whenever I enter our bedroom I feel Irene flooding into and through me. When we're about to lay down for the night, which always entails visualizing us together, I can sense her enjoyment.

I wake up feeling like I've been with her - SO happy and fulfilled.

The sensation is like a combination of our love, joy and excitement, and on my side, a kind of wonderful relief. Actually meditating/visualizing produces a very powerful sensation and makes me want to sleep - it feels like Irene is dragging me off to her side for a while. I wake up feeling like I've been with her - SO happy and fulfilled.


As this inner connection has grown, my daily life has turned into one long sequence of synchronicities and signs. They are now the norm, not the isolated exceptions.


One of my driving desires used to be to have more astral projection experiences with Irene while I'm still here, but honestly, that doesn't even concern me now. I know I'll be with her physically for eternity soon enough, and this bit of physical separation has motivated me to find, deepen and explore this incredible internal connection.

I'm good with the way things are for now; more than good.

So, I'm good with the way things are for now; more than good. In fact, this is great! All of this just kind of slowly percolated into me over time, sneaking in, where eventually I realize weeks after these these things, these sensations, have become an ongoing new state I find myself in, in terms of my relationship and interaction with Irene.


It may not seem like the internal methods have as much immediate impact or power as some of the more external methods, but IMO over time they have the longest-lasting power to transform the transdimensional twin-flame relationship from one of pain, worry, and insecurity to something close to divine.