Learning To Navigate My Inner World
Updated: Jun 18
Over the past six years of "transdimensional" interaction with Irene, I have found that, gradually, almost unnoticeably, entirely new sensations have been seeping into my experience. These are physical, emotional and psychological in nature. It is likely that other people experience some or all of these, perhaps some in their daily "non-transdimensional" lives and relationships, but they are new to me.
First, there is this sense of knowing what these sensations represent that I cannot explain. I don't know how I know what these sensations mean to me. It's not like there is a social construct or pattern that I can observe as other people go through these things and talk about it, or perhaps I was just not tuned into those things and missed it.
The "romantic soul mate" sensation is one that I recognize from when I first met Irene, and which did have a little social structure around it. It started out as that sense of familiarity and recognition even though you have never seen that person before. That sensation has become much more refined in the years after she died. Somehow, I know that Irene is the only person that can possibly be my "romantic soul mate," in the eternal and absolute sense of that phrase. She is the only one for me. I can sense these subtle flavors of our relationship that go far beyond just recognition, familiarity and attraction. There is a palpable sense of her being my home, my perfect match, my absolute ride-or-die best friend.
I also have an increasing experience on many levels of our afterlife home. There is a distinctive psychological flavor, or "vibe," of our "home world," so to speak, where we are together forever. At times it it is so strong I am surprised it does not just manifest physically around me. This connection brings me flashes of our life in the afterlife, and the sensation is so powerful it overwhelms me.
Another sense that I have is that of great satisfaction in what we accomplished by coming here and of the immense value it has provided for our our eternal life together in the astral. I remember going on many angry rants about this situation for the first few years following Irene's death. I couldn't see any value in it at all. Over time, as I read and experienced more, I realized on an intellectual level the great value our life here here has, and in particular this current, transdimensional state. However, now I can sense it, I can feel it what all this means to us forever, and it fills me with satisfaction and a wonderful kind of joyous pride.
These new sensory capacities just sort of crept up on me over time. While I've done what I can to describe them, they fall short of providing the nuance, texture and depth of these experiences that are combinations of emotional, psychological and physical sensations. I believe that my daily practice of spending time with Irene in our mental space is directly responsible for this gradual development.
These sensations are not just things that happen to me, they are sensations I can direct myself into, like deliberately looking at a beautiful painting or running my hand across a pleasing texture. Or, more accurately I think, it's like learning how to get to the beach in order to feel that sensation of the beach air, the pleasing sound of the waves, the texture of the sand and the warmth of the sun on your skin.
Depending on one's state of mind, a sensation that might otherwise be pleasant might go totally unnoticed. For example, in the beginning of a relationship, the feel of your partner's hand in yours might be extremely pleasant and feel very important, while five years later while you're walking in a shopping center it might go largely unnoticed. Many think that this is an unavoidable natural progression, but it is really only a difference in one's state of mind. There is a whole mental location of context involved in that "first" hand-holding with your partner.
Note that it is not the actual, physical touch that "causes" the thrill in the beginning; it is what it represents, who it is, what it means - and all of this contextual information resides in your mind (or heart and soul, if you rather.) It is not just the mere touch that causes all of that internal, delicious sensation; if it was every such touch would do the same. This mental context fills our physical world with sensory value far beyond color, taste, sound, etc. The world around us is full of psychological and emotional meaning, and all of that is entirely in the mind.
Scientists long ago discovered that if you imagine eating an apple, your brain reacts exactly as if you were eating a real apple. Similarly, if we put ourselves into a certain mental space, such as remembering when we first met our partners, we can revisit those feelings. Or, we can revisit their death and feel that grief again, washing over us as if new. Sometimes a scent or just the ambient atmosphere can take us into a past experience and all of its psychological sensations. We can be brought into an entirely new mental location by the smallest of associations.
My point here is that the time I have spent in the mental world with Irene has taught me how to better navigate this new sensory landscape. At first I tried to force the old senses into activity like sight, touch and sound, and judged everything by the sensations (or lack thereof) that I was familiar with. Over time, however, I became aware of a more subtle set of senses, and have found that this new world is better navigated by thought, emotion, and psychological sensation.
I started "mapping out" how to get to certain locations in this new world. There were thoughts I could use to get where I wanted to go, such as remembering certain things Irene wrote in her journal, thinking about touching or kissing her, thinking about our puppies and Irene playing with them, thinking about our castle or mountain lodge in the astral, going on walks together there or on the beach, etc. It is like walking on a familiar path with familiar scents, sights, sounds and textures, with a certain ambiences that were very recognizable, taking me where I want to go in our world.
The places I wanted to go were not physical locations as we would normally think of them, but rather psychological locations of great joy, satisfaction, love, happiness, enthusiasm, fun, laughter, intimacy, etc. Regardless of how I feel in this world, even if I can't immediately access an inner-world oasis, I know she and that world is there and that I'll be able to find my way to her and it soon enough, and that is a very steadying and comforting thought. The problem was just learning how to do it, and then doing it enough to where I realized it was real, and it is really her and our world that I am accessing this way, with new sensory capacities. With these new senses, I can sense the reality of this world with a certainty that has eliminated all doubt.