I will no longer refer to the inner life my wife and I share as “visualizations” for a couple of reasons. First, my experiences with her in our world together no longer feel like visualizations, at least not anything like what I’ve experienced prior. Second, I’ve realized that by continuing to refer to what I experience as a “visualization,” I’m using phrasing and terminology that subconsciously categorizes what I am experiencing as something that is generated by me in this world and is from, or rooted in, this world.
I don’t even have to shut my eyes.
Since what I am experiencing now has consistency (depth,) continuity and increasing sensory clarity, the term “visualization” is no longer applicable because it feels like its own world, our world. It’s not a world I “enter” or initiate from here because I’m always there, to one degree or another, and I can more fully access it any time I turn my attention to it. It doesn’t even require that I put myself into any meditative position. I don’t even have to shut my eyes.
Our world has become my mental, or psychological, or spiritual (however you want to phrase it) center. When I have my attention there, I have a different psychology. It doesn’t matter what my mood is here, when I turn my attention to there I am immediately happy and excited. Irene is always there and I immediately feel her own happiness that my attention is now there. I can feel myself shift and sink into the environment there. It is more often the case now that my attention is drawn from that world to this, and my psychology here is now secondary. It's something I let myself get drawn into, psychologically speaking, from time to time.
The sense of freedom, adventure, intimacy and fun is immense.
When I am there, or at least have my attention there, different kinds of things come to mind, ways of thinking I couldn’t have thought of outside of our world, without experiencing what it is like there with her, what we are like there. The sense of freedom, adventure, intimacy and fun is immense.
The strange and wonderful thing is: that world is increasingly bleeding over into this world. Things we talk about there suddenly appear here. Specific, detailed things we do there are precisely mirrored in scenes in random movies, shows or videos. In one case, we were talking about something I couldn’t see there, couldn’t even specifically imagine. That very thing showed up in a video, the perfect manifestation, something I’ve never seen anything like before, didn’t even know it was possible for this thing to have that kind of unique texture and beauty. Yet, there it was. Otherworldly unique and beautiful.
Also, my family around me echoes the things Irene and I talk about without me having ever said anything at all to them about it. Even in this time where stores have virtually bare shelves, anything I need or want just happens to be in stock that day, or it literally just shows up at the door without my even saying a word.
I never thought this would have been possible ...
I never thought this would have been possible, but I am even now, before my death, living in my “afterlife” with Irene, and it is manifesting through into this world. We’re already “there.” Right now. Experiencing our world together, doing whatever we want.