• William Murray

Paying The Price

Updated: Jan 13


Let me be up front about my views on the afterlife and existence. I’m completely non-spiritual about all of it.


One might wonder how that is possible, given my belief in what we call “the afterlife.”

It’s really quite simple: this is just the nature of existence, and in my opinion, it fundamentally has absolutely nothing to do with spiritual doctrines, spiritual progression, etc. For me, coming from what we call “the afterlife” to this world and then returning is, in essence, no different than living in one place, and then visiting another place for a while.


The reasons for the visits my vary from person to person. Some people may visit this world for spiritual reasons, but that’s just one category of reasons to visit. There could be any number of reasons why someone visits any particular location, many of them having nothing whatsoever to do with spiritual beliefs or agendas.


One may wonder, if the afterlife is so good, why would we ever come here and spend a lifetime in a world of pain and suffering where we have no memory of where we came from or even what our purpose was in coming here?


Again, the answer is simple. We come here to experience that which we cannot in the afterlife. What we can experience, and how we can experience it, is rooted in our understanding, knowledge and memory. Maybe we came here to learn from these experiences, maybe some of us came her to gain a new perspective. Maybe some came here just for the thrill of it, like jumping on a roller-coaster ride.


How does this relate to the subject matter of this website?


One of the reasons I came to this world was to experience the death of my twin flame, my wife. Again, one may wonder, why would one deliberately put themselves through that horrible pain and despair, when the two of us could just spend eternity together in the afterlife without ever going through something as painful as that.


The analogy I like to draw is someone born in wealth, never experiencing poverty. Any appreciation that person has for wealth can only be theoretical. The depth of appreciation, their understanding of what it means to be wealthy can, at best, only be superficial - until one experiences losing that wealth and experiences living in poverty. Even then, if one knows that ultimately they will find themselves wealthy again, the depth of their appreciation and understanding of what wealth means can only go so deep. It is only when one experiences that wealth, loses it, and then feels like they will never have it again can they have access to the full depth of appreciation for wealth.


The death of my twin flame opened my eyes to the full, terrible beauty of what my wife means to me, because the pain and despair her absence caused was bottomless. Even though I had believed in an afterlife my entire life, that belief was intellectual and to a large degree superficial. Deep below that, my subconscious was programmed by a lifetime of experience in this world that dead meant gone, and with no memory of or conscious access to my greater experience before this life, my subconscious was convinced that it was the end of my experience with her. It was over, never to exist again.


This is the psychological state virtually every person in this world shares: being a mortal, aging, highly limited being largely disconnected from any larger, more informed, more clear-minded psyche. It provides the experiential framework necessary to experience grief, among many other things, that cannot be experienced outside of it.


In the afterlife, the evidence indicates that our minds are extremely powerful, that we have greater clarity of thought, and that we have perfect memory. We can access memories as if we are experiencing them. This means that from that time of grief, which my wife was able to share through me, we can always access the true depth and value of what we mean to each other, how much we love each other, how deeply connected and bonded we are, because that experience of grief bared it all and it could not be ignored or denied.


Yes, there are other reasons we came here, but just that one experience that we can carry with us forever, that brilliant, blazing appreciation for each other, that full knowledge of what we meant to each other, is worth any price we had to pay to gain it.

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